Morning Routine - Forbes Addendum

This article  has now been shared by several friends. Given how I seek out successful women as mentors and how much I believe in the power of emulation and mentorship, it encouraged me to share my own morning timeline.

3:23 AM – First wake up. Check phone, see time, wonder why my cocktail of Ambien and Zquil is failing me in such a big and personal way.

3:24 AM – Do I have to pee? I think I may have to pee. No, don’t believe it, if you believe it you’ll definitely not get back to sleep. Just roll over and go back to sleep.

3:33 AM – Get out of bed to pee. Step on decrepit old dog laying next to bed. Damn.

3:35 AM – After verifying that dog still has three fairly ok legs, I finally make it to the bathroom.

3:36 AM – Back to bed.

3:46 AM – Queue up an old episode of Shark Tank Gossip Girl on my iPhone

4:15 AM – I realized that I should get up and go for a run

4:17 AM – Last time I remember checking the time

6:01 AM – Second wake up. Aided by the five year old who shakes my foot from the bottom of the bed due to sheer laziness of not wanting to walk all the way around the bed

6:09 AM – Third wake up. Oops.

6:11 AM – Stumble out of bed. Step on dog for the second time. Sigh.

6:13 AM – Dog’s still fine. Note to self: I should finally bring her to the vet to get some supplements. And armor.

6:14 AM – Let dogs out. Inevitably sing “Who let the dogs out?”.

6:15 AM – Override automatic coffee maker program. Why do I bother with this, really?

6:16 AM – Snuggling with five year old commences.

6:27 AM – Remember that I let the dogs out. Let dogs back in.

6:29 AM – First cup of coffee. Sweet Jesus, maybe there is a God.

7:00 AM – Ask the child what he’d like for breakfast

7:05 AM – Begin the process of picking seeds off of strawberries before slicing them and serving them with the whole milk delivered from our local dairy farm. Visit hen house to collect the morning’s eggs for his omelet. Just kidding, he wants a Pop Tart. I cut the crusts off, just like Mom never did. Sidenote: I really did make him a crepe on his first day of Kindergarten. And I’ve been known to make pancakes.

7:10 – 7:45 AM – Say the words “Jack, please take a bite, Mommy really has to get to the office” approximately 300 times. Sorry about that last bit, a carry over from when I used to have a job. It’s hard to remember those days, it’s been a very long 19 days, 7 hours, and 13, no, 14 minutes.

7:45 – 8:00 AM – Make lunch, snack, pack backpack, check on library books (are those due on Wednesday? Or Thursday? Or Tuesday? Damn, throw them in the bag just in case…)

8:00 – 8:08 AM – Run Jack upstairs, brush his teeth (yes, I know that I should not brush a 5 year old’s teeth. Lalalalala this may be the most important thing I do today!) “help” him get dressed, rush him back downstairs.

8:09 – 8:11 AM – Find shoes, hat, coat, gloves (I hate you, winter).

8:11 – 8:13 AM – RUN out the door and “fast-walk race” to the bus stop

8:14 AM – Bus arrives, Jack gets on, I jog home.

8:15 AM – Ahhhh. Go to kitchen for second cup of sweet, sweet elixir of life. See lunchbox and realize I didn’t put it in his backpack. Damn. 

I'm pretty surprised that Forbes didn't call me to be interviewed for this piece.