Such Sticky Little Fingers!!

Oh boy. I have to face a very difficult reality today. Jackson is a thief. Did he steal candy? A toy? Money? No, no, and no. Let me explain.

Today we learned that our decrepit old lab, Maggie, needs ACL surgery. She was playing fetch and came back limping like a three-legged black sheep before being shorn on the legs of a toddler just learning to toddle. Yes, she's a little chubby these days. Anyway... waited it out and finally brought her to the vet. The vet tech said, within 90 seconds of seeing her, (and before the vet walked in), "I'll tell you what she did. She did the same thing as Adrian Peterson, Tom Brady, Picaboo Street, and Rajon Rondo..." and I knew. Torn ACL. There it was. Sure enough, some twilight sedation, X-rays, poking, prodding, as well as actual time with the doctor later, and it's been confirmed. 

Jack came with me to pick up Mags at the end of the day, where they gave me the DVD of her X-rays and her pain meds. I paid the $1,019 bill for the happy news and referral to a surgeon, and asked Jack to carry the "doggie bag" of meds, and we were on our way. Remember the thievery theme of this post? Well, here is is... It wasn't until I was home and pulling out the meds that I saw that Jack had stolen a dog toothbrush. Ironically, the vet said that her teeth look great. 

Morning Routine - Forbes Addendum

This article  has now been shared by several friends. Given how I seek out successful women as mentors and how much I believe in the power of emulation and mentorship, it encouraged me to share my own morning timeline.

3:23 AM – First wake up. Check phone, see time, wonder why my cocktail of Ambien and Zquil is failing me in such a big and personal way.

3:24 AM – Do I have to pee? I think I may have to pee. No, don’t believe it, if you believe it you’ll definitely not get back to sleep. Just roll over and go back to sleep.

3:33 AM – Get out of bed to pee. Step on decrepit old dog laying next to bed. Damn.

3:35 AM – After verifying that dog still has three fairly ok legs, I finally make it to the bathroom.

3:36 AM – Back to bed.

3:46 AM – Queue up an old episode of Shark Tank Gossip Girl on my iPhone

4:15 AM – I realized that I should get up and go for a run

4:17 AM – Last time I remember checking the time

6:01 AM – Second wake up. Aided by the five year old who shakes my foot from the bottom of the bed due to sheer laziness of not wanting to walk all the way around the bed

6:09 AM – Third wake up. Oops.

6:11 AM – Stumble out of bed. Step on dog for the second time. Sigh.

6:13 AM – Dog’s still fine. Note to self: I should finally bring her to the vet to get some supplements. And armor.

6:14 AM – Let dogs out. Inevitably sing “Who let the dogs out?”.

6:15 AM – Override automatic coffee maker program. Why do I bother with this, really?

6:16 AM – Snuggling with five year old commences.

6:27 AM – Remember that I let the dogs out. Let dogs back in.

6:29 AM – First cup of coffee. Sweet Jesus, maybe there is a God.

7:00 AM – Ask the child what he’d like for breakfast

7:05 AM – Begin the process of picking seeds off of strawberries before slicing them and serving them with the whole milk delivered from our local dairy farm. Visit hen house to collect the morning’s eggs for his omelet. Just kidding, he wants a Pop Tart. I cut the crusts off, just like Mom never did. Sidenote: I really did make him a crepe on his first day of Kindergarten. And I’ve been known to make pancakes.

7:10 – 7:45 AM – Say the words “Jack, please take a bite, Mommy really has to get to the office” approximately 300 times. Sorry about that last bit, a carry over from when I used to have a job. It’s hard to remember those days, it’s been a very long 19 days, 7 hours, and 13, no, 14 minutes.

7:45 – 8:00 AM – Make lunch, snack, pack backpack, check on library books (are those due on Wednesday? Or Thursday? Or Tuesday? Damn, throw them in the bag just in case…)

8:00 – 8:08 AM – Run Jack upstairs, brush his teeth (yes, I know that I should not brush a 5 year old’s teeth. Lalalalala this may be the most important thing I do today!) “help” him get dressed, rush him back downstairs.

8:09 – 8:11 AM – Find shoes, hat, coat, gloves (I hate you, winter).

8:11 – 8:13 AM – RUN out the door and “fast-walk race” to the bus stop

8:14 AM – Bus arrives, Jack gets on, I jog home.

8:15 AM – Ahhhh. Go to kitchen for second cup of sweet, sweet elixir of life. See lunchbox and realize I didn’t put it in his backpack. Damn. 

I'm pretty surprised that Forbes didn't call me to be interviewed for this piece. 

SAHM failure #1

Real housewives, day 10 - SAHM failure #1, a conversation with the Principal, Mr. Sullivan.

Principal Sullivan: "Oh, Mrs. Smith. Where's Jackson?"


Me: "He's already up in his classroom!"


PS: "I see. Are there problems at home we should be aware of?"


Me: "Err, not that I'm aware of... why?"


PS: "Well, Jackson's teacher tells me he's frequently late to school. Virtually every day.."


Me: "He's never been late! Don't get me wrong, I cut it close sometimes, but he's always in his classroom by 9!"


PS: "Well there's the problem. Class starts at 8:45..."


Me: "Oh. Noted."

Since wrapping up work a couple of weeks ago, I decided that I can support relaxing our morning routine a bit by letting Jack have some extra snuggle time and driving him to school rather than having him ride the bus. And, as you can imagine, I have operated with the understanding that school started at 9. I thought that there was some sort of "wavy time" between 8:45 and 9, when the kids got in and started settling in. Huh, I guess not...