Someone very dear to my heart once asked me to make what was, on the surface, a very strange promise. He asked me to do things as a parent that would make Jackson eliminate the status quo bias. "Don't let him get too comfortable - make him think. Keep him guessing..." At the time he threw out things that he had in mind. They were mostly things that a strong man could easily pull off.. rearrange the living room furniture while Jack is at school, turn the TV around to face the wall, unexpectedly speak Spanish from the time he comes home from school until I put him to bed (ok, appropriate for a strong man fluent in Spanish)... but I could surely pull off some things, right?
Keeping this promise has been an honor and a privilege. It's also been a fun challenge - we've (let's be honest - he's) eaten ice cream sundaes with french fries for breakfast and pancakes for dinner; we've gone to the beach mid-winter; I've changed around his room and when he noticed I acted like nothing had happened; I've called the dogs Pablo and Jose for days at a time; I've picked him up at school and headed straight to the airport for a quick, unplanned getaway. I will admit that I did try the whole "speaking Spanish for a night" thing, but sadly, phrases like "me parece que he perdido mi zapato" haven't turned out to be very useful (thanks Rosetta Stone). I like to think that it awakens dormant parts of his brain as well as maybe clears the cobwebs from corners of mine. But the seven-year name change ritual may take the cake on my favorite "question everything" yet.
About six months ago I said to Jack, without really planning to do so or thinking through the consequences, "so, have you given any thought to your new name?" Needless to say, little man was a bit confused and asked what I was talking about. I calmly explained the following:
The next couple of months were great! He asked people near and far about their names. I looked strangers in the eye and said, "you know, your self-chosen name. The one that you gave yourself when you turned seven..." and strangers around the world played along. I told him that often kids didn't like to talk about it because it was really personal, which is why other children denied this ritual. And he mostly bought it! He tried out some pretty fantastic names - Jake, Superfast, Scorpion, Racecar, Max, Alejandro. The name that was sticking, however, was Tornado Zap. So for the last couple of months, every so often, I'd ask about it. Mostly he'd agree that his name was going to be Tornado Zap. As his birthday neared I did get a little nervous. I mean, holy Hell - what would I do if my child actually expected to have his name changed to Tornado Zap? But it was a game of chicken. I started it, and by George (no, he didn't actually consider the name George), I was going to stare down the barrel and see where this meandering path brought us.
So here we are, a few days past his magical seventh birthday. And his name? Jackson Kezar. He decided he likes it. Tornado Zap was cool, but Jack was even cooler. And he even decided against spelling it with a Q! I'm not sure though... Tornado Zap does seem strangely appropriate on most days...
Keeping this promise has been an honor and a privilege. It's also been a fun challenge - we've (let's be honest - he's) eaten ice cream sundaes with french fries for breakfast and pancakes for dinner; we've gone to the beach mid-winter; I've changed around his room and when he noticed I acted like nothing had happened; I've called the dogs Pablo and Jose for days at a time; I've picked him up at school and headed straight to the airport for a quick, unplanned getaway. I will admit that I did try the whole "speaking Spanish for a night" thing, but sadly, phrases like "me parece que he perdido mi zapato" haven't turned out to be very useful (thanks Rosetta Stone). I like to think that it awakens dormant parts of his brain as well as maybe clears the cobwebs from corners of mine. But the seven-year name change ritual may take the cake on my favorite "question everything" yet.
About six months ago I said to Jack, without really planning to do so or thinking through the consequences, "so, have you given any thought to your new name?" Needless to say, little man was a bit confused and asked what I was talking about. I calmly explained the following:
Hey, yeah... you'll be seven on your next birthday, right? So when you were born, your father and I chose your name - Jackson Kezar - but it's only good for seven years. So now it's your turn to choose your own name. What are you thinking?
Needless to say, this blew his mind. He asked lots of great questions - many of which I wasn't really prepared for given this was a largely unplanned "question everything" challenges. His questions included:
- Can I choose any name at all?
- Does it have to be a name or can a word become my name? (turns out he's very Hollywood en vogue.. maybe he'll hang out with Apple and North and Pilot Inspektor with his sparkly new name)
- Does this end up being his "for life" name or does he get to choose again?
- What will he do with things that he owns that already have his name or initials?
- Does anyone need to approve of the name or can he choose it and that's that?
- What if he doesn't know how to spell the name? Will I help him?
The next couple of months were great! He asked people near and far about their names. I looked strangers in the eye and said, "you know, your self-chosen name. The one that you gave yourself when you turned seven..." and strangers around the world played along. I told him that often kids didn't like to talk about it because it was really personal, which is why other children denied this ritual. And he mostly bought it! He tried out some pretty fantastic names - Jake, Superfast, Scorpion, Racecar, Max, Alejandro. The name that was sticking, however, was Tornado Zap. So for the last couple of months, every so often, I'd ask about it. Mostly he'd agree that his name was going to be Tornado Zap. As his birthday neared I did get a little nervous. I mean, holy Hell - what would I do if my child actually expected to have his name changed to Tornado Zap? But it was a game of chicken. I started it, and by George (no, he didn't actually consider the name George), I was going to stare down the barrel and see where this meandering path brought us.
So here we are, a few days past his magical seventh birthday. And his name? Jackson Kezar. He decided he likes it. Tornado Zap was cool, but Jack was even cooler. And he even decided against spelling it with a Q! I'm not sure though... Tornado Zap does seem strangely appropriate on most days...
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